From Dolphin To Whale & Back, Cont'd from the 8/23/09 entry

Elastic is Not Your Friend!

Looking through the vast lens of events that occurred between San Francisco, Sarasota, & The San Juan Isles, I guess morphing into one of the world’s largest mammals wasn’t really much of a stretch for me. No pun intended. From a size 0 circa 1996, to a size with no numbers, like Men’s Xtra Large in 2009 took 13 years of continuing education. Most people presume little energy is consumed while in school as research & reading are relatively sedentary activities. Literary studies, however, require massive doses of carbohydrates, and unless a person is engaged in a pre-established exercise routine and is a non-smoker, there is little interest in beginning such a program. I weighed 100 pounds when I re-entered college in 1996 and paid little attention to the weird cravings that threatened to overtake my usual lack of interest in food. When I began to ooze out of my tiny jeans and stilettos I simply moved into sweats & flip-flops, no problem at all, the rest is history. I chalked the whole weight gain thing up to coping; forget denial, I was simply not there yet.

In spite of my mercifully brief childhood, I took some heavy hits, which left me in an extreme state of vulnerability manifested by perhaps the longest ever oral pacification syndrome on record. I accepted it as gracefully as possible while munching away on family size bags of Extra Crispy Cheese Puffs and washing it all down with vats of white wine. Other than chasing after six kids and working two full-time jobs, I had in the past never actually exercised, nor had I ever been overweight or in need of a diet. By May of 2008, I weighed in at a hefty 180 pounds, and at 5’2” my waistline almost equaled my height!!

Coming to the realization that my skills, talents, and accomplishments were not the product of my addictions did not evolve easily and were not surrendered without a fight. I continued to be deeply submersed in the belief that my creativity would be compromised if I quit smoking and alcohol was the elixir that watered the magic. I was, however on an unconscious level, intensely engaged in memory-work, which was a necessary component of my dissertation, and actually healed myself while immersed in the five year period of doctoral research & writing. Kudos to Dr. Mary, whose path I followed to the discovery of the heuristic research process. More later